Books
This book project—my foray into my truest self—started in 2010, the year my body started to physically respond to the weakened emotional state I had been in for many years before, maybe my entire life. This was two years after my last child of three was born.
Motherhood, marriage and excessive working had taken its toll. I was exhausted. I had a hard time walking up the stairs in my home without feeling the aches and fatigue. I was emotionally drained and scattered. At that time, I was working two full-time jobs, an English professor and a working activist. I was also looking into PhD programs in Women’s Studies. I was doing too much. I needed help. I knew my health was declining.
I went to a naturopath recommended by a colleague. I was diagnosed with adrenal fatigue--a state in which your body begins to slow down because it has been working in “fight or flight” mode for too long. As a result, you are always exhausted. I was constantly on ten. I was living in a panic. I was living with anxiety. I was living with fear. I was living with anger. I was in constant defense mode responding to a toxic marriage. That marriage, inevitably, led to toxic parenting. But, ultimately, it all was a response to childhood trauma.
I was beginning to uncover it all and make connections. I started seeing a therapist--for the sake of my mental health, who ended up being my refuge for three years on a weekly basis. My naturopath recommended I see a myofascial therapist to help with the tension that had found a permanent home in my body.
I had a team. The veil was being lifted. I was seeing with some clarity, and the path to healing was visible in the distance. In fact, I am still on that path. But, that period of my life marked a beginning, a beginning of my determination to uncover the truth--the truth of who I am. I read through old journals, a practice I began at eighteen. I read my reflections on my childhood, reflections on my relationships. It all made sense, and I wanted to write about it. So I started to write.
I began with shaping my journal entries into essays. Then, I developed completely new material that reflected my life in that moment. The process was powerful! The idea of the book, a collection of personal essays on marriage, motherhood, feminism and identity came into view.
Although the stories I tell often involve others, this book is not about them. It is about me and my responses to those experiences. This book is not meant to provoke or incite. It is meant to allow you a peek into the soul of another. If that evokes a response, I hope you respond by finding your own truth and telling your story.
New Book Project!
The Hello fifty! book project was inspired by the responses to my first book, The Constant Sweetness Within. When I initially composed the first collection of essays, the project and process was about creating a space for me to express my experience and share my story, which, ultimately, was a process of healing and catharsis. The responses from women (and men) were more powerful and meaningful to me than my processing. It revealed to me a truth in storytelling: storytelling is an invitation to the reader or listener. It is an invitation for them to, first, empathize—creating a moment of connection and shared experience. Secondly, empathizing brings the reader’s or listener’s experience to the forefront and inspires reciprocation. In this reciprocity, the storyteller and the listener begin to see the human beneath the story. And, if only for a moment, we begin to see ourselves in another.
The decision to openly share my story was inevitably a decision to firmly plant myself in a position to create and hold space for other women to process the complicated messiness of their lives. This calling was first expressed in the creation of The Women Gather Retreats, a signature offering by la experiencia—a space for women to step out of their lives and tell the truth…without the masks. Then, as I neared my fiftieth birthday, the concept of a book, a collection of new essays, about women in middle-age was born.
But this time, I felt deeply compelled to create space for other women to write and share their own stories. What a gift, I thought, to read the powerful stories of women who have gained wisdom and knowledge through life experience yet, are deemed irrelevant in many ways in the larger society. This space is also an invitation to women in their 40s, 50s, and 60s to be in conversation and to be supported and loved throughout the process. Ultimately, this project is a gift to myself. I get to do all the things I love: write, create a space, and be in the company of women.
I am currently accepting contributors to this edited collection of personal essays. Please contact me if you are interested in sharing your story and being in community.
Writing Workshops
I offer virtual writing workshops that focus on the personal essay form. Participants will learn to use the form and the basic elements as a tool to tell their story and leverage their voices. The process is both healing and a foundation for the development of longer pieces of writing.
A similar format is used in The Women Gather Retreat Experience to enhance the exploration of self and to provide a space for reflection and interrogation leading to growth and expansion. The workshop is space for both expression and healing.
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Virtual Community for Writers & People Who Write
Join a diverse community of passionate and creative souls who find pleasure and healing in the process of writing. Whether you write for yourself or are working on publishing your writing for others, this is a community for you to be supported in your writing goals and process! Please complete the form below to join the group.
